Have you ever felt like you were there as a child, but somehow not really seen?
Maybe your parents took care of your physical needs. The house was full, life was busy, you were fed and clothed. But emotionally? You felt invisible.
That kind of quiet disengagement shapes us in powerful ways. It can leave us questioning our worth, struggling with identity, or repeating the same patterns of disconnection in adulthood.
In this episode of The Happy Neurotics Podcast, Dr. Todd and I explore what happens when caregivers are emotionally disengaged, how that plays out in our adult lives, and most importantly — how reparenting yourself can break the cycle and bring you back into balance.
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You’ll learn how to:
Recognize the subtle ways emotional neglect shows up in families
Understand the long-term effects: loss of identity, low self-worth, attachment struggles
Spot the polarities of these wounds (like people-pleasing vs. narcissism, stagnation vs. overachievement)
Reparent yourself by reclaiming the balance you didn’t learn as a child
Use the reflection question “What am I doing this for?” to shift old patterns
Why this matters
When you can name the impact of emotional disengagement, you stop blaming yourself and start understanding yourself. Reparenting isn’t about rewriting the past, it’s about meeting your needs now, so you can live more authentically and connect more deeply with others.
These tools will help you:
Break free from cycles of invisibility and people-pleasing
Create healthier relationships grounded in balance
Feel whole, not just “good”
🎧 Listen to the full episode for personal stories, therapist insight, and practical reflection tools you can use right away:
Timestamps
00:00 – 02:00 – Introduction: what is emotional disengagement?
02:27 – 06:37 – What disengaged parenting looks like (with Dannie’s story)
06:37 – 09:56 – Intent vs. impact: why blame isn’t the point
09:56 – 13:34 – How childhood neglect carries into adulthood
13:34 – 17:19 – Identity, worth, and attachment struggles
17:19 – 19:48 – Polarities: underachievers, overachievers, people-pleasers, narcissists
19:48 – 23:36 – Reparenting yourself and reclaiming balance
23:36 – 27:13 – Tools for reflection and self-inquiry
27:13 – 28:01 – Weekly challenge and closing thoughts
💬 Your turn: Have you ever felt invisible in childhood — and how have you started to reparent yourself as an adult? Share in the comments; your reflections may help someone else feel less alone.
📩 If this episode resonates, forward it to a friend who might need to hear that healing is possible.
