Do you struggle slowing down? If so, we hear you! We live in a world that glorifies busyness. Do more, scroll more, achieve more. But what if all that “doing” is really just avoidance — a way of escaping the feelings we don’t want to face?
In this episode of The Happy Neurotics Podcast, Dr. Todd Berntson and I explore how overdoing can be a form of resistance, and why slowing down isn’t laziness but an essential part of balance. We talk about distraction as a coping mechanism, why rest and boredom are a return on investment, and how to reclaim time for what matters.
You’ll also hear stories and examples — from Cal Newport’s Slow Productivity to J.K. Rowling’s train ride to Dannie’s weeklong time audit — that show how creativity, clarity, and presence emerge when we stop running from ourselves. And we share a simple body awareness exercise to help you pause and reconnect with your internal world.
You’ll learn how to:
Recognize overdoing (scrolling, overworking, busyness) as a form of avoidance
Ask the reflection question: “If I wasn’t doing this right now, what would I have to feel?”
Reframe rest and boredom as return on investment rather than laziness
Differentiate urgent vs. important activities using time audits
Spot how avoidance often shows up in relationships and boundaries
Use a pause + body awareness exercise to reconnect with yourself in stressful moments
Why this matters
We can’t change the pace of the world, but we can change how we respond to it. When we fill our lives with urgency and distraction, we disconnect from ourselves, burn out, and lose the bigger picture.
Consciously slowing down restores energy, sharpens priorities, and helps us live more intentionally. Balance isn’t about choosing between doing or being — it’s about knowing when each is needed.
By embracing pause, you can:
Create space for creativity, clarity, and joy
Stop wasting energy on avoidance and resistance
Live with more presence and intention, not just constant motion
🎧 Listen to the full episode for stories, insights, and a grounding practice you can start using today.
Your turn to reflect:
We’ve been talking a lot in this episode about how overdoing can actually be a way of avoiding what we don’t want to feel. We’d love to hear from you and get a sense of what you’re struggling with, so we can speak to these themes in future episodes.
👉 Feel free to share more in the comments if you’d like. Sometimes naming the pattern is the first step to changing it.
Timestamps
Introduction
00:03 – Welcome to the episode
00:22 – Living in a fast-paced, overstimulated world
Overdoing as avoidance
02:03 – Distraction as a coping mechanism
02:16 – Reflection: What would I have to feel if I stopped?
03:20 – Why emotions need presence, not avoidance
Rest as ROI
05:17 – Marathon runner metaphor: why constant doing breaks us
05:48 – Rest and boredom as return on investment
06:51 – Cal Newport’s Slow Productivity and scientific creativity
09:20 – J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter train story
Urgent vs. important
11:00 – Hyrum Green’s 10 Natural Laws on time and priority
13:12 – Relationships and the trap of prioritizing the urgent
14:02 – Dani’s Toggl time audit experiment
Facing avoidance
16:08 – Boundaries, overwork, and “mother-in-law shopping”
17:46 – Reflection: What am I avoiding in my internal world?
Practical grounding
19:03 – Pause and body awareness exercise
20:00 – Closing reflections and Substack invite
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