This week’s episode explores what happens when unresolved personal experiences quietly shape our reactions — especially in positions of leadership, power, and responsibility.
The conversation was sparked by a viral clip from Natalie Dawson, shared on Diary of a CEO, where she describes firing two employees after discovering they were having an affair. Her reaction, which felt immediate, absolute and emotionally charged, raises an important question:
Can our personal history hijack our decisions without us realising it?
In this episode we are aware that we are analysing someone from a 2-minute clip. We might be completely wrong about what’s driving her. But we’re using this as a case study to explore how triggers work, and we examine our OWN reactions as much as hers.
So together, Dr Todd and I unpack how trauma, projection, and unintegrated shadow material can show up as excessive judgment, black-and-white thinking, and rigid moral stances; not just in romantic relationships, but in workplaces, leadership, and everyday interactions.
Rather than debating right versus wrong, this episode looks beneath the surface to understand why certain situations trigger such strong responses, and what those reactions might be trying to reveal about us.
You’ll hear how intolerance for mistakes in others often mirrors intolerance toward ourselves, why emotional flooding leads to impulsive decisions, and how becoming curious about our triggers can turn conflict into an opportunity for growth.
"If you can't perform like me, and everything in your life can't be perfect, then I can't have you in my world." — Dr. Todd on Natalie's implicit message
You’ll learn how to:
Understand projection and how excessive judgment can signal unresolved wounds
Spot black-and-white thinking as a sign of emotional flooding
Recognise when a strong emotional reaction may be rooted in past experiences
Use the “mirror” of other people’s behaviour to uncover your own blind spots
Balance responsibility, compassion, and accountability in leadership and relationships
Shift from reactive decision-making to more grounded, intentional responses
See triggers not as failures, but as invitations for self-reflection and repair
Who is this episode for:
Leaders who want to make better decisions under pressure
Anyone who’s had a strong reaction and wondered “where did that come from?”
People working on their triggers and emotional patterns
Managers navigating workplace conflicts
Anyone interested in shadow work and psychological self-examination
Why this matters
We often assume that being rational, professional, or “high-functioning” means our personal history stays neatly compartmentalised. But in reality, our emotional patterns follow us everywhere — into our relationships, workplaces, and leadership roles.
When past wounds go unexamined, they can drive decisions that harm trust, safety, and connection. Yet when we pause and ask why something triggers us so deeply, we gain the power to respond rather than react.
This episode invites a more compassionate and psychologically informed way of relating; one that recognises our shared humanity, embraces imperfection, and values repair over punishment.
We believe emotional awareness is the new revolution. And we hope this conversation helps you reflect more honestly on what your reactions might be trying to teach you.
"We end up becoming what we judge." — Dannie
Timestamps
00:00 — Intro
01:00 — The viral clip that sparked this conversation
03:00 — Can personal history hijack decision-making?
06:30 — Why “I didn't even have to think” can be a red flag
09:30 — Projection, judgment, and intolerance for imperfection
13:30 — Black-and-white thinking and the shadow
16:30 — When leaders become the liability
18:30 — Personal patterns showing up in the workplace
22:00 — The mirror effect in relationships and authority
25:00 — Dannie's invoice story: When the trigger teaches you about yourself
27:30 — Triggers as opportunities for growth and repair
28:30 — Closing reflections
💬 Further Reflection:
We don't know for sure what drove Natalie's reaction. But whether she's triggered or value-driven, the key question is: Am I making decisions consciously and thoughtfully, or am I reacting from an unexamined place?
That's the work for all of us.
And when we inevitably mess up (because we're human), the real measure is whether we can repair.
📩 If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone navigating leadership, workplace challenges, or emotionally charged relationships.
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Resources & Mentions
Natalie Dawson’s interview on the Diary of a CEO podcast, hosted by Steven Bartlett.
Natalie Dawson is the Co-Founder & President of Cardone Ventures, a business consulting and investment firm. The clip we discuss shows her defending her decision to immediately fire two employees after learning they were having an affair (both had partners outside the company). Her position is that personal infidelity signals professional unreliability
