Don’t Believe Everything You Think
This week’s podcast episode is all about spotting when your mind is lying to you. And honestly, most of us know this experience far too well. There’s a reason the phrase “you are not your thoughts” has become so popular. More than comforting, it’s true.
The tricky part is that the lies our minds tell us don’t usually sound like lies. They sound logical. Familiar. Convincing. They push us into choices we wouldn’t have made, had our representation of reality been more accurate. And sometimes, they also hold us back from things that would genuinely help us.
To show you exactly what I mean, I’m going to share a story about the podcast episode we are about to publish on that very same subject. And, as you’ll soon find out, life’s sense of humour is priceless, to say the least… so here we go.
Todd and I recorded this episode a while ago, and I remember having a good feeling about it at the time. So when he reached out weeks later saying: “Dannie, I’ve just finished editing the episode and I think it’s awful. I actually think we shouldn’t publish it.” I was surprised.
I trust Todd deeply. I also know how quickly those pesky limiting beliefs can hijack your perception. It certainly happens to me all the time!
So I decided to get an “objective opinion”. I ran the transcript through an AI tool that gives honest feedback (and occasionally savage honesty, if I’m being real).
And you know what? It came back with a glowing review. It said it was one of our best episodes yet! And what made me laugh out loud was how specifically it praised Todd’s contribution. The distance between that feedback and his own internal experience was almost comical. As Todd likes to say: we’re all crazy. And he’s right, we all are, in a very human, very normal way.
I then listened to the episode myself, without the noise of self-doubt in my ear, and I agreed. This one was a keeper! In my opinion it’s a strong, valuable episode. It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely worth sharing. Todd’s mind had him believing that it needed to be deleted. Objective reality gave us a pass to publish it.
We’re sharing this behind-the-scenes moment, because it’s something we all do. I’d guess that as you read this, you can already think of times your thoughts felt true but ended up being completely off.
So why is it that our mind can be so off track from reality sometimes? Why does it pull us into old, limiting stories that tell us we’re unworthy, undeserving, not ready, not enough?
Well, first, it’s important you understand that your mind is not the enemy. It’s trying to protect you using data it collected a long time ago. It’s doing the best it can to help you navigate your current world with an outdated map.
Todd’s vulnerable storytelling is the real highlight of the episode if you ask me. As AI put it: “He sounds like someone who’s done deep work and is sharing hard-won wisdom.” And that’s accurate — he has done the work. But when you grow up around shame-based parenting, vulnerability can feel dangerous. A brain shaped in those conditions will sound the alarm at the first sign of exposure.
And I’m no exception, my mind does the same, just in different ways. When I start editing or writing, it loves to whisper things like, “Your writing sucks,” or “People won’t like this,” or my personal favourite: “It’s not perfect enough.” (Like, who can even define perfect in the first place?) Different childhood messages, same ancient alarm system.
So what is one of the surest ways to see when your own alarm system is going off? Your emotions get intense. Your thoughts get loud. And ironically, the loudest thoughts are usually the least accurate.
When that happens, here’s a simple way to anchor yourself back into objective reality:
Pause, Breathe.
Say out loud: It’s not true that (insert thought), I just have a belief or the thought that (insert thought).Breathe again.
Then say: This belief is just my brain sending me an old familiar message that was programmed a long time ago.
This is the first step of a simple exercise Todd and I walk you through in Episode #014: Don’t Believe Everything You Think: How Old Beliefs Shape Your Present Reality, along with more tools, stories, and practical examples where choosing not to follow our minds’ lies opened up a whole new world of possibilities.
And the irony? The entire episode is about not believing the lies your mind tells you… and you almost didn’t get to hear it because of one of those lies.
We hope you do enjoy it and maybe even have a little chuckle to yourself when it drops on Wednesday.
With Love,
Dannie & Todd’s very human brains