What’s the one subject you could talk about endlessly, without ever running out of things to say?
This week, our card pulled us into that very question:
“What topic could we spend hours talking about?”
On the surface, it sounds lighthearted. But as we explored, the answer revealed something much deeper: the way trauma shapes curiosity, how pain becomes a teacher, and why true growth comes not just from thinking, but from feeling.
In this private Conversation Starters series, we’re using a deck of cards to spark unscripted dialogues. We never know which card will come up, and that’s the beauty of it—it keeps things raw, real, and a little surprising.
For both of us, the question of “what could we talk about forever?” led us straight into the heart of why we do the work we do. Todd reflected on his lifelong fascination with human behavior, born out of early questions like: “Why do I feel so terrible? Why do others seem so happy? Why do people hate each other?”
I shared how trauma often creates a hunger for understanding: a need to figure things out in order to repair. And yet, there’s a tension there too: when the search for answers becomes intellectual refuge, we can forget to feel and to simply enjoy life.
Why it matters
The truth is, many of us drawn to self-growth and healing content are here because of pain. Pain orients our attention. Like a rock in our shoe, it forces us to look closer.
But as we discussed in this episode, pain doesn’t have to become a demon in the driver’s seat. When faced with courage and presence, pain can transform into wisdom. It can become one of our greatest teachers—shaping empathy, resilience, and even humor.
Todd’s reminder was powerful: the real work isn’t in the theory, it’s in being present with what we feel.
Takeaways
Trauma sparks curiosity: Many people in helping roles are driven by early wounds that created a hunger for answers.
Pain as a teacher: Struggles can become opportunities for growth if we face them instead of running.
Balance matters: Learning concepts is important, but true healing requires feeling and connection.
Humor helps: Finding lightness in our struggles takes the sting out and makes healing more human.
Presence over fixing: Whether in therapy or in daily life, being present is more powerful than rushing to solve.
Timestamps
00:01 – Drawing the card: “What topic could we talk about for hours?”
00:02 – Todd on his lifelong fascination with human behavior and childhood questions.
00:04 – Dannie on trauma creating a hunger for knowing.
00:05 – Pain as the rock in our shoe—how trauma orients attention.
00:06 – Greatest gifts coming from greatest pain.
00:07 – Todd’s book and how personal trauma shaped his path.
00:09 – Facing vs. fleeing pain: demons in the driver’s seat or teachers on the path.
00:10 – Dannie on intellectual refuge vs. connecting with feelings.
00:11 – Humor, absurdity, and the importance of not taking ourselves too seriously.
00:13 – The real work: being present with our own experience.
Reflection Exercise
Take 10 minutes this week to reflect on these questions:
Your endless topic: What subject could you talk about for hours, and what does that reveal about your deeper motivations?
Pain as a teacher: Think of one painful experience that has shaped who you are today. What wisdom or strength has it given you?
Theory vs. feeling: Do you tend to take refuge in thinking/learning, or in feeling/experiencing? How might you bring more balance between the two?
✨ We’d love to hear your reflections in the comments: What topic could you talk about endlessly—and what does it reveal about you?
